I found this nasty little rhyme lurking amongst my unpublished poems, and rather than have it rubbing up against my classier work – or maybe to prove, yet again, that I have no shame – I’m posting it:
If you wanna make a livin’ from sellin’ stuff
you’re likely to discover that the competition’s tough,
so let me recommend that you specialise –
and here’s an additional piece of advice:
if you’re gonna sell kidneys and eyes from donors
get signed agreements from the spare-part owners –
and a couple o’ tips I learned a little too late;
be cautious when selecting their final fate
and don’t take their organs before they are dead;
Mum was vexed to encounter Grandpa Fred
with gaping holes where his twinklers used to be
when she took up his mornin’ cup of tea.
But if your best-laid plans don’t go so well
There’s a spare cot squattin’ my prison cell.
©Jane Paterson Basil
Jane's Clean Slate 
Bad taste? I can do bad taste. To Wit:
IIN VEERY BAAD TAASTEE
II haad aa leetteer
Froom my dooctoor toodaay
IIt waas baad neews
EEspeeciiaally foor aa wriiteer
Thee teests caamee baack
IIt’s coonfiirmeed
II haavee vooweel caanceer
– https://bennaga.wordpress.com/2011/12/10/iin-veery-baad-taastee/
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I’ve just read your poem out loud to my brother. We were both helpless with laughter for quite some time. I’m jealous.
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I am so very glad to be amusing folk with this little piece of frippery without offending anyone. I’ve never thought of trying to perform it at an open mic event, but it might actually work. I’d have to work out how to avoid the latter. As I’m had a meningioma diagnosed and removed myself I might be able to get away with it.
And do let go of the jealousy. It’s really not healthy. 🙂
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Good one Jane, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry… in the end, I went ouchie, and then felt sorry for the destitute of our world…..
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Thank you, dear Ivor. I didn’t pause to consider those who are so desperate that they sell their own ogans. It’s a sobering thought…
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Lol!!!! Only you, Jane, can pull something like this off 😂😂
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Why thank you Raili. I do try 🙂
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Ha ha! Awesome!
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Thank you, Chelsea!
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